The greatest trust that can come to a man and woman is the placing in their keeping the life of a little child”

-David O. McKay

Friday, May 1, 2015

Why I'm grateful for infertility

I can honestly say that I'm grateful that we have gone through infertility.  Don't get me wrong though, it is the hardest, saddest and most depressing thing I have ever gone through in my life. I'm sometimes very jealous that other couples can choose to have a baby and actually have a baby. Being grateful does not take away my pain of not being able to bear children. I very much hope that someday I can be pregnant or that we can adopt again.
I'm grateful for infertility because it brought us this little guy. We would not have him in our home if it weren't for being infertile. Adoption is one of the most important things in my life and I would not change that for anything in this world. 

I'm grateful for infertility because it has taught me to trust in God. Before our son was born I was very bitter and resentful of everything that dealt with children. Everything was a thorn in my side. I couldn't go to baby showers without going home and crying. I couldn't handle hearing about others being pregnant. It honestly was too much to bear. Over time though I learned that God was in charge of everything in my life. I didn't have to stress about when we would have a baby and be okay with the knowledge that Heavenly Father was ultimately in control and was hearing our prayers.
What I've learned from this trial has far outweighed the heart ache of it. It may hurt still very much but I've grown. That's why we're here on earth is to grow and progress. Infertility is my road to growth. I've learned that many answers to my prayers have been not now, not yet.

I have learned how truly precious each child that comes to this earth is. I've learned that each child is a miracle. I've learned that life is just hard but we can choose how we react to it.

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